Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
