Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize