was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My balls are so social today.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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