You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Randomize
