Don't you send me to vm
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
