I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you didnt know i had herpes?
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
