Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
