I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just blew my weed a kiss
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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