I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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