idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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