What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Randomize
