Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize
