Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
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