i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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