from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
