the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
