so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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