i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
