I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Randomize
