we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
