you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
