Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
