so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
