Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Randomize
