I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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