the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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