Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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