i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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