are you still at the devil's house?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
