I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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