dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
