nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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