I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
