dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
