; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
