I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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