We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
