Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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