organizing the empties. That sober.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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