i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Randomize
