Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
