and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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