If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
