i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
