i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Randomize
