he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well