Texts From Last Night

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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.

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  (617): whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker. http://tfl.nu/hnpp
  Replies (14) Good night (1826) Bad night (845)
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  (415): View more from California

  Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.

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  (415): Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on. http://tfl.nu/yhjx
  Replies (5) Good night (561) Bad night (3780)
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  (818): View more from California

  remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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  (818): remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it, (702): Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch. http://tfl.nu/x8zx
  Replies (116) Good night (6533) Bad night (12234)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.

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  (641): Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in. http://tfl.nu/co4b
  Replies (16) Good night (4143) Bad night (1075)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.

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  (708): I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored. http://tfl.nu/z508
  Replies (5) Good night (2874) Bad night (1401)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?

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  (802): Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok? http://tfl.nu/nera
  Replies (19) Good night (4489) Bad night (908)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...

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  (705): just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer... http://tfl.nu/qk4d
  Replies (6) Good night (1907) Bad night (1005)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.

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  (864): We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger. http://tfl.nu/jvyn
  Replies (3) Good night (1794) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  hungover and i feel like a burrito

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  like eating one or like you are one?

  (850): View more from Florida

  like i am one.

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  (850): hungover and i feel like a burrito (1-850): like eating one or like you are one? (850): like i am one. http://tfl.nu/h242
  Replies (10) Good night (2286) Bad night (640)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.

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  (+61): You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success. http://tfl.nu/j71q
  Replies (5) Good night (1564) Bad night (544)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.

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  (206): After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard. http://tfl.nu/g18p
  Replies (1) Good night (539) Bad night (563)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals

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  (330): i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals http://tfl.nu/vtga
  Replies (1) Good night (763) Bad night (314)
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  (951): View more from California

  Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions

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  (951): Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions http://tfl.nu/xeve
  Replies (4) Good night (961) Bad night (330)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"

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  (202): His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?" http://tfl.nu/rw07
  Replies (6) Good night (338) Bad night (569)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.

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  (248): This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone. http://tfl.nu/i8ci
  Replies (5) Good night (323) Bad night (874)

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