I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems