Texts From Last Night

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  (760): View more from California

  i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them

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  (760): i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them http://tfl.nu/jlgr
  Replies (7) Good night (647) Bad night (1769)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.

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  (215): After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article. http://tfl.nu/2zxm
  Replies (6) Good night (2693) Bad night (944)
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.

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  (609): We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready. http://tfl.nu/9xou
  Replies (33) Good night (7785) Bad night (730)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...

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  (828): Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was... http://tfl.nu/29hb
  Replies (31) Good night (4359) Bad night (1590)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  You're such a slut.

  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I prefer opportunist.

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  (773): You're such a slut. (318): I prefer opportunist. http://tfl.nu/49c1
  Replies (27) Good night (6638) Bad night (1066)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.

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  (250): I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you. http://tfl.nu/p3o8
  Replies (15) Good night (9596) Bad night (1053)
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  (310): View more from California

  Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....

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  (310): Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google.... http://tfl.nu/f2r9
  Replies (16) Good night (5472) Bad night (1251)
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  (585): View more from New York

  She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.

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  (585): She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings. http://tfl.nu/pz3m
  Replies (44) Good night (6872) Bad night (1775)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.

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  (407): shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands. http://tfl.nu/6i6m
  Replies (22) Good night (906) Bad night (4658)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex

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  (727): she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex http://tfl.nu/jq0b
  Replies (12) Good night (7724) Bad night (1026)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget

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  (267): i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget http://tfl.nu/82kf
  Replies (8) Good night (2409) Bad night (1000)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.

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  (602): Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world. http://tfl.nu/z3pl
  Replies (3) Good night (494) Bad night (903)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire

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  (513): Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire http://tfl.nu/zvoc
  Replies (7) Good night (591) Bad night (1125)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.

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  (301): He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home. http://tfl.nu/hk8n
  Replies (15) Good night (1644) Bad night (487)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.

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  (+44): If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned. http://tfl.nu/qyit
  Replies (8) Good night (494) Bad night (1309)

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