I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?