Texts From Last Night

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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?

  (1-603): View more from New Hampshire

  Nah, we all need something.

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  (603): Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her? (1-603): Nah, we all need something. http://tfl.nu/s7fq
  Replies (24) Good night (2958) Bad night (710)
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  (415): View more from California

  How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?

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  (415): How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control? http://tfl.nu/y9i1
  Replies (27) Good night (1553) Bad night (3626)
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors

  (1-905): View more from Toronto

  american apparel?

  (905): View more from Toronto

  try lime green

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  (905): it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors (1-905): american apparel? (905): try lime green http://tfl.nu/6mw7
  Replies (54) Good night (4226) Bad night (681)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?

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  (601): hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow? http://tfl.nu/vvua
  Replies (124) Good night (6292) Bad night (2309)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.

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  (610): My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/h8rn
  Replies (49) Good night (1094) Bad night (5467)
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  (661): View more from California

  I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight

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  (661): I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight http://tfl.nu/99ir
  Replies (11) Good night (2688) Bad night (816)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.

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  (703): Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done. http://tfl.nu/tk11
  Replies (16) Good night (2691) Bad night (1075)
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  (714): View more from California

  It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.

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  (714): It's a self-perpetuating puke chain. http://tfl.nu/kvdz
  Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (1355)
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  (949): View more from California

  He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.

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  (949): He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do. http://tfl.nu/7uqv
  Replies (10) Good night (2052) Bad night (848)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.

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  (703): The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party. http://tfl.nu/q2r5
  Replies (4) Good night (3807) Bad night (615)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea

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  (406): K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea http://tfl.nu/3xax
  Replies (9) Good night (745) Bad night (1112)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.

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  (715): I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve. http://tfl.nu/cch7
  Replies (3) Good night (1019) Bad night (741)
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  (310): View more from California

  thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.

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  (310): thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones. http://tfl.nu/qrwe
  Replies (5) Good night (1066) Bad night (346)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.

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  (912): We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day. http://tfl.nu/r8kt
  Replies (2) Good night (377) Bad night (238)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.

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  (717): I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower. http://tfl.nu/u1b6
  Replies (3) Good night (624) Bad night (148)

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