thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
