Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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