talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
