Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
