It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
