Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
