i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
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My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
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I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
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