super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
