i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize