Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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