i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
