I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
