God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
She bit a glass in half.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
