Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
