mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
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