didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
