FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
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looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
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He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize