If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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