I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
