Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
