Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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