we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
