Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize