sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
